Baby Making & Finding Out ...

A little background...We got off birth control in August 2011, hoping to start a family. Well, that's a little hard to do when you don't ovulate. I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I wasn't officially diagnosed until April of 2012, although I began to suspect it a couple months after being off birth control and not having periods. The last year was incredibly difficult. It's hard to explain the emotions and ups and downs of infertility...there just really are no words unless you have truly been through it.

Without getting into all the details, I want to share that over the last year and a half God has done amazing things in my heart. I have learned so much about His love for me, how to give thanks in ALL circumstances, and what it means to turn your hopes & dreams over to Him and to be in His will. I cannot say enough about how thankful I am for going through the "valley" of infertility. I am a different woman and my faith is so much stronger because of it. I know and believe that God knows what is best for us- even if it requires us to endure painful experiences. My marriage was strengthened as God taught both Jared and I that HE is the one in CONTROL- that we cannot always plan things, fix things, control things. A hard lesson for two stubborn, strong-willed, take charge type of people. We were humbled and brought to our knees on countless occasions. I am thankful that I serve a sovereign and faithful God and that I have a husband like Jared to do life with.

In addition to what took place in my heart, I also learned way more than I ever though possible about reproduction, infertility (IF) and it's acronyms (TTC, BFP, BFN, AF, TWW, HSG, DPT, DPO, IVF, FET, etc. etc. etc.), nutrition, supplements, IF treatments... What it all comes down to is that life, any life, is a miracle! The fact that people get pregnant at all is just mind-blowing to me now. 

Like most parents, we consider our baby a special little miracle, and even a little more so considering what it took to get us here! We had a great Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) that helped us through the process, but we ultimately give all the credit to God for choosing us to be parents and creating life inside me. What a blessing and honor. We know the Lord has great plans for our child and for us as parents. We are praying for another wonderful, healthy 18 weeks for this child to grow and develop and decades more to watch him/ her grow (we don't know the sex and won't be finding out, Eeee)!

So, onto finding out...we pretty much knew the exact day we got pregnant due to our situation and fertility procedures- thus, we knew exactly what day we would get our first beta and find out if we were pregnant. I had taken several pregnancy tests at this point in our baby making journey and had pretty much sworn them off months ago. Well, Sunday, the day before our beta, I decided I would go ahead and test. I wanted to prepare my heart for whatever call we would receive from the nurse the next day. Before church, I did my thing and sat the stick on the counter in the bathroom. I went to the living room and got Jared. He was finishing his waffles and then we walked back into the bathroom together (I had to first tell him to go put his plate up...he was nervous enough to carry it with him!: )). And there they were! 2 beautiful pink lines. I will spare you from looking at the test I peed on. : ) I think we were both so shocked that we didn't really know what to do or say. I think I kept saying, "that test says we're pregnant!? Jared, we're pregnant." It's not often that the two of us are at a loss for words. So we cried and hugged.

We kept our little secret for a couple of days, but since our parents and a couple close family and friends knew when we would find out- we had to let them in on the news a couple days later. We were very cautious and scared since women with PCOS have a 50% higher miscarriage rate than the average woman, so we didn't do anything "cute-sy" to share the news. At 12 weeks we told a few more close family and friends and then at 17 weeks we told pretty much anyone else "important". Out of sensitivity for others struggling with infertility we decided not to make a big ol' FB announcement or anything- but I did want to put something on my blog for my bloggy friends. So many of the ladies' blogs that I read are also expecting, many of whom I have prayed for as they've struggled to have their own families- so it's exciting to read and share with each other. Plus, the whole purpose of me blogging is to record pieces of our life- if people decide they want to read about it, that's great, but it's really just our family scrapbook of sorts!

Anyway, The emotions that started on that day we found out have only intensified as each day of this precious pregnancy has progressed. Joy, thankfulness, worry, excitement, what-ifs...but mostly, just pure and total awe that God would bless us when we thought all hope was lost. There were points we never thought we would make it this far. There were points we didn't know if we would even have children of our own, or otherwise. And now, we are so blessed to be at week 22 in this pregnancy. We know every day is a gift, that nothing is guaranteed, and that we certainly can't plan anything!! So, we pray for a long, uncomplicated pregnancy, and a very healthy baby Granberry to arrive in April.

"Every good and perfect gift is from about, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."- James 1:17