Taking Risks...

...Getting pregnant this second time was similar to the first. We went through 3 rounds of fertility treatments...lots of shots, bloodwork, sonos, appointment after appointment. And we would of course do it all again because we already have proof in our almost 2 year old of what an absolute miracle comes out of all the time, emotions, and money spent.

During the beginning of our third cycle for baby #2, we knew this would be our last try with an IUI. If this didn't work, we would either be discussing IVF or spoiling our one and only for the rest of her life (we'll probably do that anyway). Up to that point, I'd done a total of 5 cycles, resulting in 0-2 good, mature follicles, stimming from anywhere from 12-16 days. Well this cycle I stimmed for 18 days, it was slow and steady and I was down to the last drop of my Gonal F shot. We finally had follicles maturing...and I do mean follicleS. We had 4. FOUR! That's a lot. Having done tons of reading and researching in my days of fertility treatments, I know that some doctors will cancel those cycles, others prefer you to have that many. For us, it was a lot, simply because we had never had that many before. The night before we triggered, we had to have the big "what if..." multiples discussion. We of course have had that discussion several times, as our cycles could always result in possible twins, but we'd never had the possibility of high order multiples.

In all honesty, It almost broke my heart to think of canceling after all the time, money, and emotions we'd invested, but I was totally prepared to do it because the idea of quads (although statistically not likely to occur) frightened me to death! But that's where my amazing husband literally took hold of my hand and reminded me of important truths that I was letting fear drive out.

• God is in control. This has, is, and always will be the case. He goes before us and knows what we need. He knows what will happen. We learned the first time around when trying to get pregnant that we have to let go and let God. Read THIS POST for more of what God has taught me through our journey to expand our family.)
• God would never give us something we couldn't handle, or something we didn't need to grow in Him. Sometimes those things are scaring, frustrating, heartbreaking, but they mold us and shape us into the person he desires us to be.
• We are safe to take risks in Jesus. I loved this Jesus Calling from just a week before we made our decision. It seemed like it was wrote just for us, for just that moment. 

From that point on, we obviously went forward with the cycle. I felt such a peace the entire 2 week wait. And even leading up the sonogram, I had zero worries about how many babies I might be carrying, if any at all. I knew God already knew and that it was the perfect amount for my body and for our family. Whether 0 or 4. I am extremely thankful for one healthy baby. But I am even more thankful that God continues to teach me lessons through our journey of growing our family. We are always safe to take risks when we are trusting in him, seeking his will, and letting him be the ultimate planner of our life. Praise Him!

*Update: I wrote this shortly right after our first sono...before our 2nd at 7 weeks, where we found out it was twins. I love God's special, miraculous surprises! More to come on finding out about our twins...