...I mentioned a few posts back that I was reading One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp. I am nearing the end of this book and have come across a chapter that has really spoken to me. I want to share a few passages from the chapter that have really helped me to reflect on my own circumstances & how I am choosing to live (or sometimes not live) a life of Eucharisto (thanksgiving).
"My heart says to you, 'Your face, Lord, do I seek' (Psalm 27:8) but I'm desperate to grab someone, anyone, and shake hard, 'How do I have holy vision in this mess? How do I see grace, give thanks find joy in this sin-stinking place?"-AV
"Nothing happens to you except by the will of God, and yet [God's] beloved children curse it because they do not know it for what it is."-Jean-Pierre de Caussade
"What compels me to name these moments upheavals and annoyances instead of grace and gift? Why deprive myself of joy's oxygen? The swiftness and starkness of the answer startle. Because you believe in the power of the pit...Do I really smother my own joy because I believe that anger achieves more than love? That Satan's way is more powerful, more practical, more fulfilling in my daily life than Jesus' way? ...When I choose- and it is a choice- to crush joy with bitterness, am I not purposefully choosing to take the way of the Prince of Darkness?...because I think it is more effective -more expedient- than giving thanks?"-AV
"Why do I reduce God in this moment to mere annoying frustration? Why do I reduce The Greatest to the lesser instead of seeing the lesser, this mess, as reflecting The Greatest?...Give thanks to keep the gaze on Heaven."-AV
"In this wilderness, I keep circling back to this: I'm blind to joy's well every time I really don't want it. The well is always there...You have to want to see the well before you can drink from it. You have to want to see joy, God in the moment...We don't have to change what we see. Only the way we see it."-AV
"The Lord has to break us down at the strongest part of our self-life before He can have His own way of blessing us."-AV
"But the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt he is."-AV
Wow. This entire chapter could have been wrote from my heart and my current struggles. Of course, I could never so beautifully articulate into words my soul's hardships the way Ann has- and that is why I love that God gives the gift of writing his words and messages to others- so that I (and I'm sure a plethora of others) can be blessed and encouraged!
I think I have stated before how thankful I am that God's mercies are new every morning. That he wants us to DAILY seek Him so we can receive our daily bread. We are not meant to stock up and save, but to daily come to Him in worship & thanksgiving, seeking His will, His way, His strength. Right now, some days can be a struggle for me to find joy and give thanks. Some days I do better than others. Some days I sit around and have a pity party- and then do my best to shake it off! I cannot do this alone. I need the strength I can only come by through seeking Jesus with a heart of Thanksgiving. One Thousand Gifts is all about living a life of thankfulness to our Creator. When you are in a valley it can be hard to find things to be grateful for- but they are there. All around you. What I've learned from reading this specific chapter is that we must look for the joy in our life. The gifts. The blessings upon blessings. Because they exist!!! The more we find to be thankful for, the harder it is to be bitter, sad, angry, envious, etc.
I am not an eloquent writer by any means, but this is something I wanted to blog about so I can look back one day and see how I've grown in Christ. Hopefully it makes some kind of sense! I also think sometimes it's just important to share what's on your heart because I have been encouraged by so many others when they do just that!
So there you have it, I'm constantly learning how to give thanks- for everything. The good, the bad, and all things in between.
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