My New Job Title...

...Mommy. Wife. Keeper of Home. Stay at Home Mom. Employed by Jared. Whatever you call it!

It's quite possibly the scariest thing I've ever done. I have worked in education for the last 10 years. I have taught, been an instructional coach, and most recently, a school counselor. Last year was one of my most fulfilling years ever. I LOVED my counseling job. It was the perfect mix of therapy, guidance, administrative tasks, educational duties, etc. My bosses were beyond amazing, as were the teachers at my campus...and the kids- they touched my heart and taught me so much. I have always "worked" to earn money since I was 12. Babysitting, 5 years at Sonic, Abercrombie, the college bar...Both of my parents instilled a strong work ethic in me. I paid most of my own bills, bought my own car, paid for a large chunk of my college. I take a lot of pride in working- I value/d every job I ever had and when I'm in work mode, I do my very best. Part of my personal downfall is that I care about what others think- and it has always been very important to me that my bosses and peers think I do a good job at my job. Much of my identity has been tied up in my work...

And I will still be working. Possibly harder than ever before, and on much less sleep. My pay will come in hugs, kisses, snuggles, the smiles on my little girls' faces. Will I have the patience to give my kids grace each day? Give myself grace? Will I have the wisdom to know how and what each little personality needs to feel unconditionally loved? Discipline? Will I be too easy on them, too hard? Will I be good at this new job? I have no idea. I don't know how long I will be at home working, if/when I will return to a job that pays in dollars. I do know that I am going to wake up each morning, with my coffee, and ask God for my daily bread. I'm going to enjoy each midnight cry, every tantrum (because sometimes they're just plain funny), every smile and every laugh. God has given our family 3 little blessings, blessings we didn't even know if we would ever have. He has given our family the opportunity for me to stay home for now. Paying jobs will always be there. But babies, well it's true, babies just don't keep.

When we were contemplating whether I would stay home and praying over the decision, I was in the middle of reading through the Psalms.  This verse spoke directly to me. I was struggling with giving up my career and my work identity. But God knew I needed to see this verse and remind me that my identity is in Him. And He has blessed us abundantly.